Coffee Cake

Don't judge me. I'm eating some really delicious coffee cake right now. It is yummy. And it is my breakfast. Mmmmmmmm

So, I'm down to the second to last week of camp. So, this week then and then one more, and then I'm done. Then my brothers will be in town, and then I am moving back to college. And that's where I don't know what will happen any more. Yeah, life is confusing that way.

So, this week at camp I am working with one of the horse camps. I will be around horses for most of the week with 13 girls between the ages of 9 and 11. Camp is still under a fire ban, gosh darn heat. We've had so much thunder storms, but no rain. It is awful. Ah, one of the joys of working at camp. Last week was somewhat stressful, but still enjoyable. I think the most memorable of this is visiting the pond. We took the girls to the pond to canoe. I didn't want to go into the water, so I just was in the canoe with my fellow counselor Trek. Of course, the first thing that happens.... she tips the canoe. I land in the water in full clothing, shirt, jeans, shoes, socks. Everything. Thanks, Trek. Thanks.

Coffee cake is still delicious. Yummmy

This weekend was also so much fun. I had a movie night with Scott and Hotty, which was great, though I think I fell asleep through part of it. We were trying to accomplish our goal of having an XMen movie marathon. Alas, that did not happen. We only got through watching the first one. I also had a wonderful time visiting the temple. (For those of you reading this who are not Mormon, I am sorry if you do not fully understand this.) I asked Scott if he would join me to do baptisms. It was an awesome experience and I'm glad we got to do it. Especially since Scott is going to the MTC for an LDS mission to Australia next week. After that, we had an adventure going to Taco Bell, enjoying the air conditioning, playing cards, and watching a movie. Surprisingly, I made it home before 11pm. :) I am just that cool.

I wanted to say that I am doing better. Things are still hard. I don't like to show my sadness, but it's always there. It's odd to think that I won't see Adam this September. That I won't text him. There are no more funny texts and jokes between us. I see things from the Army, or men from the base and my heart aches. I wish I had my soldier back. But, I'm still going. I am pushing forward and having fun. I'm smiling and despite all of this, I am happy. Just because there's something hard and sad going on in life, doesn't mean you can't be happy despite it all. This is probably the hardest thing I've had to go through, and I'm not grateful it happened. But I am grateful for the experience I've gotten, for the growing I've done, for the friends and wonderful support that people give me. I have gotten closer to Heavenly Father, I've had to. And I'm grateful for that. It will take a long time before I'm completely back to normal, but it will happen. Hopefully.

Again, I would like to thank all of those people who have been there for me. Who are still there for me. Who let me talk to them, who help me smile, who love and care for me. I don't think that they all know how much they have done. A small smile can go a long way. A friendly "Hello," or "Are you doing better," can make the difference between a good day and a bad day. So Thank you. To all of those people.

That's pretty much all that has been going on in my life right now. Camp, weekends, hang out with friends, then back to camp. Repeat. Insert a bit of crying for emotional release, and that's my summer. I feel like I am being repetitive in my blogging. So I will end it there, and post next week, or sometime close to that. :)


Oh.... ps.... I'm starting to feel sick from the mass of coffee cake I just had :P Yeah.... thanks karma.

Summer Camp

So, I feel bad that I have not  updated this in a long time. I've been working at a summer camp, which takes up most of my time. When I do get breaks I like to read, nap, and reply to emails, so my blog has been the last thing on my mind. However, I thought to update it, and let you all know that things are doing all right.

I am doing better. I still think of Adam almost every day, but things are all right. At least I hope they are. I still worry about some things, but I've felt a lot of comfort from family, friends and Heavenly Father. I am very grateful for all the support. I am worried for school this upcoming semester. I will be going back to Utah State, which I am excited for. What I am not excited for is the junk I have to figure out for financial aid. I am also worried to get back into the swing of "social life". I have been in the mountains since a week after Adam's funeral, and I have gotten very comfortable where I am. I love the staff I work with and I feel like I can be myself. But, having to go to school is a bit intimidating, with all the newly weds, couples, and crazy singles, not to mention the guys that will be there. I'm not at all ready to date. And it kind of makes me nervous to have to face guys again. I used to be so confident in who I was and my relationship. And now, I am a bit more hesitant. I am hoping that is something that will heal with time. I'm sure I will be able to be myself. I am doing better every day. Which is good.

Camp is great. Like I said above, things are going well. I am having fun. Though I am a bit tired sometimes. The girls are fun. I love working with them. I enjoy being able to teach new things and sing all the songs. I also love the staff. They have been very supportive of me since I've come up. It's great. I do have a terrible farmers tan. It needs to go away. Curse you long pants and sleeves!!!! Ah well....

I think the highlight of this month has to be seeing Harry Potter opening night. It was so good. I went to see it with one of my good friends, Scott. I believe I cried 3 times in the movie, Scott claims it was 4. Either way, the movie was great!!!! It's sad to see Harry Potter finally end though. I've grown up with the books and the movies. It's part of my childhood. It's sad to see it end. Ah.... sadness. But, I love it. I will probably go see the movie again. And reread the books. Just because they are great.

The other highlight, of course, is just spending time on the weekend hanging with friends. I spend every weekend with either Hotty Donna, Scott or both of them. It's a party every time. I can tell you now that I could write an epic book of the many adventures I have with those two. It's going to be a sad day indeed when I have to move away from Colorado and not see them as often. And of course, Scott is going to Australia in 2 weeks!!! Wow.... crazy how time flies like that.

Anyway, hopefully, I will be able to update this more often. I'm trying to. At least I've gotten it to once a month. :) Maybe I can improve it to twice a month. Love you all. Thanks for the love and support. I'm glad to have such good family and friends through these hard times. I'm glad I am able to smile.